The One Where My Mechanic Thinks I'm A Pervert (Almost) or What I Did This Weekend

Few things suck more than working on a holiday. Even somewhat piddly ones like this'un. Everyone in my family has it off, schools have it off, and, well, a lot of other people do too. But not me. No sir. So I will do all I can today to eschew work. Starting here.

So this weekend I was a very busy girl, despite almost everything I planned to attend being canceled. Saturday I had facebook RSVPed to meeting up with many friends at Purgatory Chasm, picnicking and then hiking about. Come Saturday morning...canceled! So I went and visited with my former roommate and her wee baby thing (translation: three year old), and we had ourselves a lot of fun.

That night I went with my family to a benefit for the woman that works for my dad and her son, Joe. Sadly, Joe is fifteen and has brain cancer. He's his mother's only child, and she is a single mom. It's really quite heartbreaking, so I tend not think about the details too much. This kid is fighting very hard and is up against some daunting odds, so this benefit was truly inspiring. So many people showed up, showing support and donating money, it was just unbelievable. It makes me have a little more confidence in the human race.

One method of raising money was a silent auction/raffle. There were well over a hundred themed baskets, gift cards and other miscellaneous items donated, and tickets were 25 for $20. My mom and I both spent the $20, and walked around checking out all the baskets after our second glasses of wine. This was a mistake. I fully blame the wine for making us think it would be funny to put a ticket in the "adult toy" themed basket. I'm sure neither of us thought through to, "but...what if we actually win it??" The rest of my tickets were put in a variety of wine, Italy, and Ireland themed baskets, a gift certificate for a beginners pilate's class, a full car detailing, and some movie tickets.

They pulled the tickets at 11pm, when my mom, dad and I had already left. My sister and her friends were still there, and at 15 past I get a text from her saying, "You won raffle bag 75!!"

"Sweet!" I think, "I wonder what that one was?" And continue reading my book. I go to sleep, and in the middle of the night I abruptly wake up, feeling overheated. As I lay there listening to the rain outside, BAM! A thought bursts through so suddenly that I gasp audibly. "What if I won the adult toy bag?!? Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!" Scenes of a man standing at a podium, pulling names from bags, announcing the prizes to a crowd including the woman who works for my dad, my mechanic, many strangers and my sister and all her friends, races through my head. "They all think I'm a pervert! Shit! I can never go there for an oil change again!" A wave of intense embarrassment washes over me and I could barely quiet my rush of thoughts enough to make it back to sleep. Seriously. What made me think that was a good idea!? Shit, shit, shit!

In the morning I share my realization with my mother who thinks it's the funniest thing she's heard all year, and makes sure I know by laughing at me hysterically with a maniacal twist. It turns out it probably wasn't the adult toy bag because it had a much lower number than 75 (thank goodness my mom remembered - or took pity on me and lied), and that they didn't announce them, they just wrote them on a dry erase board with the bag number next to the winner's name. Phew!

Now if I did win the naughty raffle, at least no one besides me, and whoever I need to go and pick it up from will know. Really, though, that is mildly comforting. Oof.

Sunday is book club! Wee! Wait, what is that? It's...canceled? Then why did I bother buying the book on Thursday and marathon reading it for today? Bahumbug! Except it really was a good book (Water For Elephants) and I'm glad I read it.

Instead, me and said friend decide to go into Boston for the day! We go to the Aquarium, as she's a member and we don't need to wait in line or pay. It's all fun, games and good times, until I am stalked by a shark. No, really. In the middle of the New England Aquarium there is a a ramped spiral like so:

At each window is a ledge, and we decided to sit for a spell and watch the fish swim past. They all swim against the current, so from where I was sitting I couldn't see them approach, but I could see them as they swam away from me. Then, eerily slowly, one of the sand tiger sharks started to glide into my peripheral vision. First his nose...then those teeth....his eye....until his face was level with mine, and his eye was staring straight into mine...and then....he stopped. And stares. A shark, stopped and stared at me. Though there was glass in between the two of us, it was one of the freakiest experiences I have ever had.

Are you going to try and tell me this thing staring straight into your soul wouldn't give you the heeby-jeebies?

I nearly died from nervous laughter. And of course since the shark literally stopped right there, people started gathering around and taking pictures, as I'm choking and almost falling off the ledge in my fit of "oh dear god, what is it doing?!" It was the type of stare that said "When the floods come, I'm going to find you and eat you."

That, or maybe he wanted to be friends. You really can never tell with sharks.