Three Dog Night

I'm sure many of you know the band Three Dog Night. Did you know their band name is a temperature scale for measuring how cold it is? It's so cold, you need three dogs in the bed to keep you warm, that's how cold it is!

I was thinking about this, and whether there is a similar a measure for heat? As I was getting ready for work in the morning, sweating, despite having three fans trained directly on me (and this before it was even 8am!), it dawned on me...

Just How Hot IS it??

One Tissue Face:

Is it so hot that you could apply a tissue to the lower half of your disgustingly sweaty face and successfully pull off a bank heist in the wild, wild west? Or could you perform emergency surgery in a bus terminal taking proper sanitary precautions with your makeshift, stuck-on face mask? If you answered yes to either of these, then it's a one tissue face day!

Two Tissue Face:

Is it so unbearably hot out that you could apply TWO tissues to your face and successfully complete a move to Iran without being stoned? Or could you go to a costume party as a mental patient peering out of their door's rectangular observation window from their padded room? If you answered yes to either of these, it's a two tissue face day today! Ooo-wee! Now that's toasty, people!

Variation:

One Tissue Face Variation:

Is it so hot out that you can slap a tissue to your forehead and travel to the nearest school cafeteria and, with no formal training, still be following health regulations by covering your hair? Then it is again a one tissue face day!! And can I get a yay for being sanitary AND resourceful? Yay! I bet McGuyver never thought of this!