Sole Complaint

The following is an issue I feel quite strongly about, but haven't been otherwise compelled to write about...until now.

Foot flushers. You know, the people too neurotically afraid of germs to just use their damn hands to flush the toilet, and insist on raising a leg and using ther shoe-covered foot? Those people.

Normally I think this is a ridiculous behaviour and is completely unneccessary. You DO wash your hands after going (and flushing), don't you?? If not then it appears we have a larger problem on our hands than we thought.

If you do, then what is your issue with using your hand to press down the lever that will whisk your unmentionables out of the bowl and down the pipes, never to be heard from again? Please explain this to me. You have read the studies that prove public toilets actually carry less bacteria than, say, a cell phone or table top, right? No? Google it. It'll blow your mind.

As much as this behaviour blows my little mind, what gets my goat (what does this saying even mean? I don't have a goat, but if I did, who would really go after it? Are there goat nabbers?) is when it persists into the winter months.

Think about it.

We live in New England. Chances are we have a foot of snow and slush and salt and ice on the ground at any given moment. Even just walking from a parking lot into a building you track it in with you. Now we're coming upon the event that has spurred this post. You go into a restroom. You do your business. You, you foot flusher, you, lift your soggy, slushy boot-clad foot to flush the toilet. And you spray that messy, dirty shmuck EVERYWHERE. All over the seat! And what do you do? Do you, foot flusher & germ phobic, grab a paper towel to wipe it down so the next occupant doesn't have to deal with your slush flush mess? NO! Because you are crazy and inconsiderate! I hope you get a cold!

That's right. I wish germs upon you, oh fearful one. And, not that my readership reaches far or wide, I hope that, if you are such a flusher, perhaps you'll consider knocking it the heck off fer cryin' out loud. At least for the winter months. I truly do not think it is too much to ask.

That, or I will find you. And I will sneeze on you. You have been warned.